Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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