eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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