accomplished twins. life is a go
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
