I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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