You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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