at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
