I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
