cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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