Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
