Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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