I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
this hospital has no fireball
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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