I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
