were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
