Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
