it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize