AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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