she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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