Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
please don't ironically join a cult
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