I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
