Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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