his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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