Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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