Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize