dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
