Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize