I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
