exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
