no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
