THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
