it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
