I wannas sexs uuuuu
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
