Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
