Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
