saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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