I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
