I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
