I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
