Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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