420 ftw
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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