One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
