i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
