There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
