I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
