...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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