Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
