My girlfriend figured out who you are.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
