how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
