if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
