Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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