In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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