my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
