Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
