just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
