I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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