FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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