I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
