But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
