I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dick very happy bro
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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