Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
