GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
