whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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