oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
