just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
