She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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