Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When are your genitals available?
you never un-have a 4some
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
