Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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