Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
